As we head into days with more darkness and “the most wonderful time of the year,” as the lyrics from the old Andy Williams song describe the holiday season, I can’t help thinking about the bumpier road that so many people will have due to the change in seasons, the decreased exposure to natural light, or just a raised anxiety level due to pressure that is either real or imagined. Whether you are talking about seasonal affective disorder or some other form of depression, one of the common threads is the increasing darkness, which at its worst, seems like it will envelop you. This darkness can appear to smother our last glimmer of light as one event seems to compound the next. When this occurs, the voice in your head can become imbalanced with a steady stream of negative messages about both your current state and the chances for optimism on the road ahead. I was reminded about this in a recent post by Jay Michaelson on the the 10-percent Happier blog. Michaelson described the voice in his head as a parade of monsters:
It was impressive to watch the variety of monsters that showed up. Some made me feel lonely. Others recited the superior accomplishments of my peers. A few accused me of being a bad parent — after all, good parents don’t have the luxury of self-loathing…my favorite monsters of all were the meta-monsters: the ones judging me for having a monster attack in the first place.
It’s important to realize that we all sometimes have those voices in our heads and it is equally important to remind ourselves that those voices are not who we are. As Eckhart Tolle stated, “What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am.” Even more important is our ability to assure ourselves that this darkness will pass.
Abbreviating Dark Days
There is one thing that is a certainty and that is the fact that we will all have dark moments. It is beyond our control. What we can do to be proactive is put down some insulation to try to minimize the depth of the darkness and muffle the critic who lives in our head. The antidote is building a routine of constructive habits when you are feeling strong. Whether it is a mindfulness practice, exercise, healthy eating, a social group or some other positive outlet that helps keep you feeling a sense of balance, these are the positive practices that can keep you going when the dark clouds approach.